New Year, not new YOU.

Firstly welcome to 2019 and I hope you all had an amazing festive break with your loved ones. I hope you are all feeling rested, revived and ready to tackle the New Year ahead.

I have been procrastinating for days now about writing this post because the subject matter genuinely scares the life out of me, but alas if we cannot reveal our own flaws as human beings how can we be compassionate of others?

(All images courtesy of google images)

As those close to me would know, I have spent the last six months in talking therapy for a cleanliness OCD and also to deal with internal battles from bullying and an eating disorder when I was a teenager at school. In all honesty 2018 was the toughest year I have ever faced and although there were many high moments (the most prominent being when I met the love of my life) the lows were crippling, not just for me but my support network also.

I had been the way I was for so long, that I just thought it was part of my personality -just ME. Sometimes however, it takes a defining moment or catalyst to finally say those magic words – I need help and that happened for me in the early part of last year. Once I had taken that first step however, being assigned a therapist was a lot less painstaking then I imagined, and as soon as I met mine for the first time the floodgates opened and it felt amazing to finally talk to an impartial person about my childhood and how it shaped me into the person I had become.

I know this post is not in my usual style of writing if you have been a subscriber since the beginning, but in reality, life is not all sunshine and rainbows. I also cannot sing the praises enough of the Waltham Forest Talking therapies group through the NHS as they ultimately have changed my life forever.

Approaching the end of 2018, equipped with new lessons, tools and a belief in myself for the first time made seeing in the New Year with my amazing partners family in Sunderland even more poignant for me. This was the first year in as long as I can remember, it felt right to not set a New Years resolution. I knew that I wanted to go into 2019 using my new techniques and assertiveness skills to know that I AM good enough, I have a voice and being open and honest is ALWAYS the best policy.

This has been my own personal journey but the message I would like to leave with you all is that it is OK to ask for help, it’s OK to be open about working on your own mental health, it’s OK to not have your shit together, and finally it’s OK to be selfish and say to your loved ones I need time for ME.

Whatever challenges or hardships you have faced in 2018, I wish that 2019 is a year of growth, lessons learnt put into practise, transparency with those who you love most and ultimately just living the best version of you, you can be.

I cannot wait for all of the new content, research and most of all providing thought provoking posts for you regularly this year.

Until next time, don’t worry be happy 😊

Take care

Keya x

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