New Year, not new YOU.

Firstly welcome to 2019 and I hope you all had an amazing festive break with your loved ones. I hope you are all feeling rested, revived and ready to tackle the New Year ahead.

I have been procrastinating for days now about writing this post because the subject matter genuinely scares the life out of me, but alas if we cannot reveal our own flaws as human beings how can we be compassionate of others?

(All images courtesy of google images)

As those close to me would know, I have spent the last six months in talking therapy for a cleanliness OCD and also to deal with internal battles from bullying and an eating disorder when I was a teenager at school. In all honesty 2018 was the toughest year I have ever faced and although there were many high moments (the most prominent being when I met the love of my life) the lows were crippling, not just for me but my support network also.

I had been the way I was for so long, that I just thought it was part of my personality -just ME. Sometimes however, it takes a defining moment or catalyst to finally say those magic words – I need help and that happened for me in the early part of last year. Once I had taken that first step however, being assigned a therapist was a lot less painstaking then I imagined, and as soon as I met mine for the first time the floodgates opened and it felt amazing to finally talk to an impartial person about my childhood and how it shaped me into the person I had become.

I know this post is not in my usual style of writing if you have been a subscriber since the beginning, but in reality, life is not all sunshine and rainbows. I also cannot sing the praises enough of the Waltham Forest Talking therapies group through the NHS as they ultimately have changed my life forever.

Approaching the end of 2018, equipped with new lessons, tools and a belief in myself for the first time made seeing in the New Year with my amazing partners family in Sunderland even more poignant for me. This was the first year in as long as I can remember, it felt right to not set a New Years resolution. I knew that I wanted to go into 2019 using my new techniques and assertiveness skills to know that I AM good enough, I have a voice and being open and honest is ALWAYS the best policy.

This has been my own personal journey but the message I would like to leave with you all is that it is OK to ask for help, it’s OK to be open about working on your own mental health, it’s OK to not have your shit together, and finally it’s OK to be selfish and say to your loved ones I need time for ME.

Whatever challenges or hardships you have faced in 2018, I wish that 2019 is a year of growth, lessons learnt put into practise, transparency with those who you love most and ultimately just living the best version of you, you can be.

I cannot wait for all of the new content, research and most of all providing thought provoking posts for you regularly this year.

Until next time, don’t worry be happy 😊

Take care

Keya x

Friend or foe?

Good afternoon to you my loyal lovelies,

Since transitioning into my 30’s, along with seeing changes in my physical appearance, energy levels and career development – one other area I have really noticed a shift in is my friendship circle. For this months post, I really wanted to delve into the complicated world of maintaining those special relationships in the modern world.

(All images courtesy of google images)

At school I wasn’t one of the “popular”, the musical or the high tech computer sets of friends but I had a core group of around eight girls and we did everything together. I still think fondly back to the first time we got into a night club (we were so excited and felt so grown up) and also heading into London in style in our own limousine after prom night. Back then you felt as if you would be friends forever although when we all started going off to different colleges or getting work placements, the group whittled down to barely a handful by the time university or full time employment came around. I am lucky enough to still have one of my very oldest friends in my life from the first week of secondary school, it’s been 21 years and she is like a sister to me still.

I am so grateful that in my 20s I was able to travel to some amazing places around the world – real bucket list destinations like Bali, the Amalfi Coast and Brazil. Also working in Africa, Houston and Norway on secondment which was incredible for life experience (and passport stamps) but not so great for maintaining those important friendships in your life.

Don’t get me wrong, with the introduction of social media and technology like Skype and WhatsApp calls it does make the world seem a little smaller when you get that all important beep on your phone from your best friends, but as I have said before on earlier posts, sometimes social media can be as much a hindrance as a help. I still find it so strange how a quick text or comment on Instagram has replaced spending hours chatting in each other’s bedrooms, or how catching up over a glass of wine can be few and far between as life just passes by so quickly.

It’s amazing how you continually meet people as an adult also who just instantly feel as though they have been there forever – forging new friendships which mesh seamlessly with the old, reminiscent of the edges of a well worn patchwork quilt. Whether that be in the work place, doing one of your favourite hobbies or at a party through a mutual friend, I really feel as women we have an invisible bond which should be uplifting not belittling each other.

It’s universally ok and an unwritten rule too whether you have children or not, that because our lives are so full and busy – we cannot possibly expect to get a response to our message or voice mail immediately like we did when our phones were constantly glued to our hands as teenagers (quite frankly a few hours to respond is commendable, but a few days more likely)

In summary I guess I am trying to say that like any relationship, friendships also take work and effort. I put my hands up completely and admit that I tend to retreat into myself when I’m sad or hurting but if you are going through a particularly tough or difficult time and you lose friends because of it, then in my view they were not very good ones to begin with. Sometimes even when we feel as though we have 10 plates spinning in the air simultaneously, a simple voice note to your best friend is enough to let them know you are thinking of them and you are there to be a supportive hand when they are ready to open up.

What with all the controversy, wars, famine, poverty and huge social issues like the sheer number of people suffering with depression, mental health issues or loneliness – even if you have one special person in your life who you know you can always turn to for advice – CHERISH them as to me, having people around you who genuinely love and respect you is worth more than any materialistic item in the world.

Until next time, take care

Keya x

Art attack.

Good day to you my creative characters,

Firstly I must apologise for my lack of blog posts recently. Life can be so busy at times and in the last few months I’ve been maid of honour at my cousins wedding in Spain, moved in with my amazing partner and also been promoted to a new job – so please forgive me for not having a chance to give you all some awesome new material.

For this months post though I wanted to talk about Art and it’s many forms. This past weekend we spent our Saturday afternoon strolling around the vintage stores in Brick Lane and there is just a plethora of street art around each corner. We stumbled upon a pop art gallery which was simply incredible.

Some of the exhibition can be seen below:-

Whether it be Street, modern, classical, theatrical, pop or anything else in between – Art really can come in so many different forms which is what I love. We all have our individual passions and things we do in our free time to unwind or relax – mine is creative writing. Putting pen to proverbial paper is so cathartic for me as I am such an introvert in my day to day life, that dreams and my imagination can take me wherever I want to go when I sit down to write.

I have a keen interest in Fashion illustration and although I am not the best yet, I still enjoy seeing the picture form under my pencil tip with each stroke and the sense of satisfaction you receive when you see the finished picture is second to none.

Have you ever thought seriously about what makes you happy? Whether it be catching up on the weeks worth of tv soaps, feeling the wind cutting through your hair and your trainers hitting the tarmac on your thrice weekly jog or reminiscing with your close friend about childhood memories over a glass of wine – try to do what makes YOU jubilant whenever you get the chance.

As 2018 is frantically coming to a conclusion once more, it makes you realise how short life really is – the washing can be done tomorrow, the medical form can be completed later – now it is time to embrace your own version of contentment.

Until next time, take care

Keya x

Balance is not just walking in stilettos.

Good morning to you my joyful jugglers of life,

I am sure if you are anything like me, from a young age it was drummed into you in magazines or on the television that you can be a woman who has it all – a high flying career, a beautiful family, a successful social life and for there to even be time to fit in an exercise class or two for good measure; I grew up wanting to be that kind of woman. For this months post however, I wanted to talk about Balance.

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(All pictures courtesy of Google images)

As a woman of 32, I currently have a career that I receive a huge sense of satisfaction from although I feel is still in its earliest throes of progression. I have a wonderful handful of true girl friends who I have grown up and evolved with. The main difference now being our wild nights together consist of sharing a bottle of wine whilst putting the world to rights over a nice meal instead of coming home at 5am in last nights party frock. I have an amazing family who support me through the best, the worst and every other period in-between who mean the world to me. And last but certainly not least, I have a partner in my life who supports me in every challenge I face, who is my rock and makes me laugh and feel loved in a way that I did not even know was possible until now. And to top it off, after receiving my Spinning Instructor certification back in 2016, I also ensure I get some exercise classes thrown in each week too with me on the microphone πŸ™‚

With all the positive elements of my life though, I too fall into the trap of not knowing how to juggle all of these things successfully at times. Are you nodding your head whilst reading this – its OK if you are! haha.

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I often wonder to myself if one day we are unable to keep all of these proverbial balls in the air and one drops, what will actually HAPPEN? If we realize that we accidentally double booked a dinner date with a friend on the same day we already said we would go to visit your partners family – will we lose that friendship or cause an argument? The answer is usually no, but why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to appear to the outside world we have it all in order? And in all honesty if that was the outcome which came from those situations, the next question you would need to ask yourself is are you surrounding yourself with the right kind of people who deserve your love and time? Now that is a hard question to ask yourself believe me but sometimes the answer is so enlightening and empowering πŸ™‚

Another trait of women statistically is we usually would not put ourselves forward for a new role at work unless we felt 100 percent certain we could carry out all of the tasks required whereas men tend to be more confident that they can learn the required responsibilities once already employed in the job. Why do we sometimes doubt our capabilities when we know that we are just as right for that role as our male counterpart? It all comes down to having self Confidence and Esteem. I have learnt only in the last few years that I AM good enough and even know you may not have the necessary experience in a particular industry, it will translate to another in many circumstances. Finding those commonalities will mean the sky really is the limit for you.

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I will wholeheartedly raise my hands and say that I am a perfectionist in all areas of my life and I genuinely feel like super woman when I have managed to do a days work, taught an energetic spin class, cooked a healthy dinner, put a load of washing on and still managed to enjoy a relaxing glass of wine with my loved one before bedtime – but realistically not every day is like that. Some days, my only achievement is moving from my bed to the sofa and back again but with each passing year I have learnt that doing nothing is OK too.

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Which brings me perfectly to the very subject of this post – Balance. Life will always inevitably get stressful, activity filled and chaotic which will only increase when children are thrown into the mix but as my wise parents often remind me Rome wasn’t built in a day and if you cant get all your washing done today – we have another 60 years hopefully of doing it so it really does not matter. Or if you realize with a heavy heart you haven’t seen your best friends for a month, just pick up the phone and give them a call – sometimes just hearing your voice and letting them know you are thinking about them is enough until you next can see each other for a catch up.

Life can be tough enough at times, so why add that additional pressure on yourself to try to do everything all of the time – kick back, relax and go for that impromptu dinner date or picnic in the park. The routine can wait until tomorrow πŸ™‚

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Until next time, take care

Keya x

 

Happy holidays

Good day to you my vacation loving vixens,

Apologies for the delay in getting this months blog post written. As I’m sure a lot of you also are in the midst of, I have just got back from taking an extremely needed break away to Spain. What with my full time job, teaching my spinning classes, spending time with my loved ones and investing my time in writing my blog you can imagine how I jumped at the chance to get away with one of my girlfriends to Europe this month.

(Image courtesy of google images)

The combination of sun, sea, sangria and snoozing on the beach was amazing beyond belief and I have come back home feeling relaxed, recharged and ready to face the second half of 2018.

I have been extremely fortunate enough in my nearly 32 years on this earth to have been on some unforgettable vacations around the world and I have seen some incredible natural wonders along the way. However, one thing I feel I am slowly getting better at but still haven’t mastered is the art of packing – especially lightly. Haha.

I remember when I was in my late teens/ early twenties and we would be escaping for our summer holiday as a family. I used to take a full 14 day’s outfits both for day and evening time and only wear a handful of them especially during the daytime where you mainly live in your bikini and beach towel anyway! Why do we feel we need to pack everything but the kitchen sink as if we cannot possibly buy anything that we may have forgotten at our destination?

Granted it does depend on where you are going and what kind of holiday it is. Obviously you need a different wardrobe style for a 4 day city break than you do for a weeks beach trip but I thought I would highlight my top tips for packing smartly this year.

For daytime I completely encourage that for a weeks holiday you can pack a different bikini or swimsuit for every day if you are lucky enough to have them (I was guilty as charged of this on my recent break.) One little word of advice though – make sure they are a similar size and style (I am partial to a bandeau top) as you really won’t want to look like a patchwork quilt of tan-lines by the end of the holiday 😊

For daytime I am definitely a cut off shorts and vest kind of woman. I usually pack a few pairs of either denim or chino style which can be mix and matched with various tops so it looks like a completely new outfit each day – result!

For those balmy summer nights believe me from experience you will be not be putting on your highest Jimmy Choo shoes each evening (unless you are staying in a exclusive resort destination then lucky you). My go to is definitely a smart pair of tan leather wedges. They literally go with everything, accentuate your tan and also give you that coveted bit of height us average height ladies NEED! Mine are from Guess but the high street also does some awesome styles too – try Zara or New Look to bag your own pair.

(Image courtesy of google images)

Clothes wise what on earth do you wear when the weather is still hotter then bath water and the sun is high in the sky until 9pm? For me, someone who loves the warm weather but feels their body just wants to expel all water as soon as I step off the airplane – then my go to attire is loose fit boho style dresses or fitted A line styles in bright colours or prints.

By keeping your hair and make up natural you can really go to town on your outfits as holiday dress can be so much more fun and eccentric than your everyday style – embrace it! By packing smartly and efficiently, who knows you might even have space in your luggage for a nice memento to remind you of your time away also. Well that is what I am telling myself ahead of my trip to Cyprus in a few weeks anyway ☺️

Until next time, take care

Keya x

Social media – help or hindrance to our own true happiness?

Good evening to you my enthusiastic e-readers,

For this months post, I really wanted to dig deeper into the evolution of social media and to try to fathom if the backlash towards its exaggerated ideal of perfection is warranted.

(All images courtesy of google images)

I myself was rather a late bloomer when it came to signing up to social media. During my early twenties, I was lucky enough to live overseas in Spain for my summer holiday during college and although friends back home were cottoning on, I still was too busy making memories in the real world to think about setting up a page.

It was only after moving back home to my parents after a particularly tough breakup and finding myself with a significantly reduced group of friends that I took the plunge and set up a Facebook account. Within a few weeks, one of my first ever friends from school had reached out to me and we had rekindled an amazing friendship which nearly 22 years later still is stronger than ever. I owe that to Facebook and it’s amazing power of connecting people for sure.

Over the years of working and living in multiple countries which has been an adventure I cherish forever, Facebook and Instagram really has made the world seem so much smaller. Seeing friends celebrating massive achievements like getting married, earning a promotion or having children fills me with so much joy as if it wasn’t for these platforms it would make it so much harder to keep in touch.

But like everything we do, there are of course negative outcomes of living our lives online. If you ask yourself honestly, the last concert or music festival you went to – how many photos, videos, selfies or check in’s did you do? Haha it’s ok I know it’s scary to admit but we ALL are guilty of recording our favourite song in a live show or tagging ourselves with our friends in front of the stage. It’s as if to prove we were really there. I often wonder however, by doing this, are we actually missing the true magic of the experience by watching it through our smartphone screens instead of just using our own eyes?

Another thing that I definitely am guilty of as I am sure we all do, is I tend to only put up a post when I am doing something fun or interesting – whether it being celebrating a friends birthday, seeing my favourite DJ or going “out out”. Honestly who would want to hear about how I’ve just washed my hair or put on a face mask – we try to show the “perfect” side of our lives in the hope of appearing more popular, fun, sociable or just plain cool. I admit that sometimes when I’m scrolling through Instagram and I see these flawless people with amazing bodies, heaps of friends and jetting off all the time to luxurious destinations I do get a pang of jealousy. I think for me though, I just always think back to the notion of we all are portraying our best selves and we should be supporting not criticising each other in this world – there is enough sadness around us already.

Ultimately for me, I have my real life, my real family and friends who know and love ME for who I am and I also then have my incredible social media network which has opened up my eyes to all of you, my lovely followers and has forged some lasting connections for me because of it. There are pros and cons to everything we do in our lives, whether it be the food we eat, the clothes we wear and the life choices we make but as long as we approach the Internet with the respect and integrity it deserves then carry on connecting people and stay HAPPY!

Until next time,

Take care

Keya x

London in lights

Good morning my bashful Brit’s,

Yes, that time has once again come around for London to showcase its first fashion week of 2018, held in February. I always feel a huge sense of pride that my home city is one of the lucky places on the fashion calendar to hold its own fashion week amongst the greats in Milan, Paris et al. Below I give you some of my favourite looks and the key emerging trends from the S/S shows.

(All images courtesy of google images)

Victoria Beckham

Her collections up to now have always lives up to her namesake in the Spice girls and this show did not disappoint. She paired buttoned up blouses with floaty, pleated skirts and court shoes and super soft knitwear with high waisted trousers in warming maroons and lilacs. I love how VB has found her niche of elegant workwear style which can easily transcend to after work drinks with friends or an impromptu business meeting with an potential new client. There really is no excuse not to feel your best in her designs.

Mulberry

I always think fondly of trips to Selfridges when I was young wandering around the designer bag hall, gently tracing my fingers along the butter soft leathers and classic styling of this infamous accessories design house. Fast forward many moons and I have fallen in love once again with the almost princess like designs seen below in the palest of pinks against the stark contrast of the strapless body peeking out from underneath. In comparison to the matching prints shown later in the show in autumnal hues of browns and burnt oranges – it really was a show which shocked your visionary senses.

Temperley

I have always thought of Temperley as a brand synonymous with the central London elite – people who shop for their scarves and hats in Liberty, chutneys and jams in Fortnum and Masons and their stockings in Wolford – an older demographic than my generation but this years collection has hit the nail on the head. Every look that sashayed down the runway had young, fun and fresh all over it. I particularly loved the simple black roll neck sweaters teamed with the paisley print ankle skimming skirts and also the long sleeve blue panelled dress would not look out of place in my work wardrobe with a pair of buckled ankle boats and my oversized Armani high necked winter coat. Oh so elegant.

House of Holland

I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to secretly hangout at any of the members clubs around our beautiful city in the hopes of somehow becoming friends with Henry Holland. He has just always seemed like such a genuine, down to earth guy and every collection graces my favourite celebrities as soon as it is shown on the runway. This years showcase was no different. There was a play on the trusty football fan or Harry Potter house emblem scarves tied jauntily to one side over polka dot dresses which captured the London way of dressing entirely; oh wait, it’s a little chillier than I expected outside, let me add another layer….it all just worked perfectly and FYI Henry, I still want to grab a drink with you next time you are home! Haha.

Burberry

Oh Burberry, my life long friend. I remember clearly when I was in secondary school and I caught the first glimpse of one of your amazing bags in the shop window of the flagship Bond Street store. It was love at first sight. I even still have my classic camel trench coat which was handed down to me by my mum (who used to wear it when she was my age – it fits me like a glove, what are the odds!)

Although now I am more into the subtler approach to wearing this luxury brand I really loved the almost pyjama style design of the matching suits and visors displayed in this show. Also the tribute to love conquers all with the rainbow pride colours filled me with so much joy. The world is evolving so much, fashion needs to morph with it too I say.

Richard Quinn

And last but not least I cannot fail to mention our royal highness gracing the front row of the Richard Quinn show. Whilst there to present him with the best newcomer designer of the year award she didn’t disappoint in showcasing her own unique style in a matching twin set in the lightest grey and simple but elegant pearl earrings. She was the perfect backdrop to the beautifully colourful designs gliding along the catwalk in front of her.

What other city in the world, pairs fashion royalty in the likes of luxury brands which have withstood economic recession and the test of decades in the business, the ever present front row maverick Anna Wintour and ACTUAL royalty HRH Queen Elizabeth – London as always we salute you.

Until next time, take care

Keya x